Mar 20 2009
Inside Scoop on Former President Bush’s Upcoming Book!
Politico reports former President George W. Bush is writing a memoir that will focus on the 12 toughest decisions he made while in office and has signed a book deal with Crown Publishing, a division of Random House.
The book will also cover Bush’s early life as well as his struggle to give up alcohol in favor of a more intoxicating and harmful elixir – religion.
”Aides say Bush is taking a disciplined approach, working two to three hours each morning, writing 1,000 to 1,500 words a day,” writes Politico writer Mike Allen. “He has been typing on computers at his ranch in Crawford, his home in Dallas and his office in
Dallas, and on a laptop he carries on planes and the ride between the ranch and the city. On a trip this week to Calgary, Canada, for his first public speech since leaving office, he edited printouts.”
The book is scheduled for a fall 2010 release. According to Allen, “It will be very different from Bush’s first book, ‘A Charge to Keep,’ which came out during the presidential campaign.” For instance, this new book will not feature any pop-ups or pictures to color.
The book’s tentative title is Decision Points. Another title under consideration for the book’s release is President Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying About the Constitution and Love the Bombings.
IMPORTANT UPDATE!
According to Fox News, Bush refuses to say what his 12 toughest decisions as president were, but this blogger talked with sources close to the former president and was able to get the skinny on those decisions. And as a reward to you, dear reader, for taking time out of your busy schedule to peruse my great and humble blog, I will now tell you what those decisions are so you won’t have to part with $39.99 of your hard-earned wages at Barnes & Ignoble.
And so without further ado, here they are in order of importance.
THE 12 TOUGHEST DECISIONS OF PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH (AKA “THE DECIDER”)
12. Which organization should I spy on first, al-Qaeda or the ACLU?
11. Should I read My Pet Goat or The Very Hungry Caterpillar before going to bed?
10. Should I invade Iraq, Russia, or Tanzania, or all three at once?
9. Should I choose Dick Cheney or Chuck Norris to be my running mate?
8. Should I follow the Constitution or the Old and New Testaments?
7. Should I tell the American people that Saddam has weapons of mass destruction to get their support for my upcoming war against Iraq, or just tell them that he had oral sex with one of his interns?
6. Should that banner say “Mission Accomplished” or “I’m the King of the World!!!”?
5. Should I give Israel $600 billion this year or $601 billion?
4. Should I attend this meeting on national security. or watch The Passion of the Christ again?
3. Should I pretend that I’m still in charge, or just let Dick have the Oval Office and make it official?
2. Should I call myself The Decider or The Decision-doer?
1. Should I pronounce this word with a long E or a short E?
Very, very nice PA. I enjoyed it immensely. I would like to add that he may have been better served picking Norris-they say he is a man of principles. Ooops-my bad. Chuck would have never fit in with the rest of the Constitution Tramplers. Well done PA.
For some reason this really made me want to watch that Will Ferrell Bush interviewing Bush thing…
Great stuff here! And speaking of Chuck Norris, why didn’t they send him to Iraq to shock and awe them with roundhouse kicks?
http://obamacomics.today.com
Thanks for your comments and kind words guys. Jason, i don’t know why Bush didn’t send his friend Mr. Norris over to Iraq to give them some of his special brand of Christian love. He should have gone tho, that way we could have killed too birds with one stone.
I personally think that there are MANY lessons to be learned from Eric Carle books. It’s too bad in your memoir he spent too much time trying to decide which one to pick up instead of actually reading them. Certainly he could have learned a thing or 2 about playing well with others from The Grouchy Ladybug.
Great stuff!!!!
“…his struggle to give up alcohol in favor of a more intoxicating and ultimately harmful elixir – religion.”
LOL!! Best line of the whole article.
Thanks for the chuckle!
With regard to the Bush Administration’s claim that Saddam had weapons of mass destruction, i always believed it to be true. My hunch is that the reason why Bush never found them was because Saddam hid them in the one place he knew the president would never look…the Baghdad Public Library!
Geez, gotta be a first. I don’t know which one to laugh at more, PA’s or Oldfart’s!! A laugh a minute!